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[May. 24th, 2012|10:42 pm] |
I was able to go to the doctor yesterday, and yes both my ears are quite infected.
My right ear, which had only been infected for about 5 days, (my left ear was for about 8 or 9 days) had gotten really bad! It was so painful, it was radiating pain through my jaw, and my face was swollen around the ear and jaw! I could barely open my mouth, and barely talk!
My left ear had gotten so stuffy I can still barely hear out of it, but I think that cushioned the pain some. I can't wait to be able to hear again though. It's hard being half deaf, and not being able to hear people talk.
It was definitely in the top 3 most painful ear infections I have had.
Considering I have had probably 40-50 ear infections the past 10 years, that should clue you in to how familiar I am with them.
I got amoxicillin, and ear drops, all for only $9 too!
And the doctor only charges $10 for low income, so it wasn't too bad.
Last night was hard to get through, I had to put a warm pack on my ear, and finally was able to fall asleep, and when I woke up, my ear was so much better, and I could open my mouth again!
Which is really good because I wasn't sure how my root canal tomorrow was going to go without being able to open my mouth.
Bad news is, the amoxicillin has already started to make me feel really sick to my stomach, and I have to take it for 9 more days. That stuff is some really nasty stuff, but it's like the only thing I am not allergic to, and it does take my ear infections away, so I just have to get through it.
My ears were obviously not going to get better on their own. I tried waiting it out, but they only kept getting worse and worse.
I am really freaking out about my root canal tomorrow. I really wish I didn't have to get one.
sitting with my mouth forced open for hours being drilled, and poked, and not even knowing who this dentist is, or if they will do a good job, is really scary!
But, I want to get this taken care before it turns into something serious like that other tooth did a few years ago.
I just wish I could calm down. I don't know how I am going to ever sleep and I have to leave at 8am! |
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[May. 22nd, 2012|02:01 am] |
I really don't feel good ;o;
Both my ears are super infected now.
I have a sty, cold sores, one of those huge & hard painful pimples, my gums just suddenly started bleeding and oozing a lot. (I guess it's because of the infection in the tooth)
That really bad pelvic pain that I keep getting suddenly hit me really hard again, and I can barely stand, let alone walk.
I have to wake up super early for work, and I have no idea how I am supposed to sleep with so much pain going through my body.
I really don't like my head right now. I wish I could just make it go away.
My ears are so bad I think I really should go to a doctor, but there are only 2 I could afford to go to, the free clinic, and the cheap one I've always gone to, but they are both closed on tuesdays, so I can't even try to go tomorrow!
waaaaaaaa I hate everything right noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow! ;o; |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2012|08:55 pm] |
I'm probably the only person left in the world that cares, but omg all 5 members of flame are getting together for a special event for their 10th aniversery!
Not till October though, and it probably will be a one time thing that I want be able to see or hear, but whatever, still cool. http://flame-pro.jp/
My computer was very broken, and I spent about 4 days getting it back to running again.
Both my ears are infected and hurt and itch so bad. The left one has been infected for about a week now, the right one just started yesterday.
I really don't want to go to the dr so I am trying natural remidies, but they just keep getting worse.
I don't know what to do!
I am getting my root canal on friday, so at least that infection will be finally out of my body, and they will probably have me take antibiodics for that anyway, so maybe my ears can hold out for another 4 days, but it is wearing me out, and really difficult to have so many infections going on in my body!
It will probably be a few more days of getting my computer back to normal and catching up on everything before I get around to commening and replying to things.
Plus I am super worn out from so many things, especially from the infections, so I just don't feel like doing anything, or thinking too much about things for now. |
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[May. 1st, 2012|02:29 am] |
geez, you think they punished akajin enough for getting married already?
srsly! someone needs to become an idols rights activist!
i'm not a fan of him, or marriage, but still, he should be able to do such a bassic human thing if he wants to.
guess they're holding him as a warning example for any other person who might try to step out of line. |
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[Apr. 22nd, 2012|12:00 am] |
Which hair cut do you think I should get?
http://berrypinksweets.tumblr.com/post/21485136829/ok-which-hair-cut-do-you-think-i-should-get-not
man I ate so bad today, but I do every day, so what else is new.
"breakfast"
Noon - Homemade chicken soup, 1 big bowl, and lots of fritos.
"snack"
2pm - medium size choco chip cookie
"lunch"
5pm - small bowl of mushroom feta cheese soup & piece of tangerine cardamon cake
"dinner"
9:30 pm - 1 String Cheese, a bunch of apple slices, a bunch of fritos.
Yeah, it's no wonder I'm so unhealthy and have become so fat & out of shape.
Btw, all that stuff is gluten free, because I'm doing 3 weeks of no gluten to see if gluten could be my problem, but I really don't think it is, but everyone keeps suggesting it to me, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to try it and see if it works or not. 3 weeks is supposed to be how long it takes to see improvement.
I'm on my second week now, and yesterday & today's pain makes me wonder, but, it hasn't been 3 weeks yet. Honestly, I hope it doesn't help because I'm a greedy pig who doesn't like the idea of never eating gluten again.
I only gave into trying it after a disastrous, crippling, few days of pain and sickness a few weeks ago that did eventually let up, but never went away all together, and now yesterday and today were getting bad too. The pain is mainly centered in my pelvic and lower back region though, so I don't even know if it's my digestive tract or not, though I have a lot of digestive issues along with it, and currently have bad pain inside my actual stomach too, and that has always come and gone for no reason I can tell.
I dunno if any of it is even connected, or if it's just a bunch of separate random problems.
I dunno if that stuff has anything to do with female organs instead, because I havn't had one of "those" in awhile, but I've never been regular, so it's hard to say
Or, as doctors like to make you think, IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD!!!!
Well, why can't they fix my head so it doesn't feel that stuff then?
Maybe what I really need is a lobotomy. Yep.
Oh yeah, my cold is really bad, and it's driving me crazy, and even though I have been using my neti pot faithfully since it started, I am getting a cough now! ;o;
I really really really want to go on a vacation.
Honestly, I just want to go see a good band like in the old days.
But, I'm probably not strong enough to make it through anymore.
But, I would at least like the chance to find out if my adrenline rush I always got from it would pull me through it! I'm craving a good old vk/rock concerts of yesteryears.
I know, I linger in the past more than is healthy. What can I say, I like what I like, and I never stop. |
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[Apr. 18th, 2012|11:33 pm] |
Sick! :(
Darn you 2 extra out of town kids I was nice enough to watch for a day only to find out they had colds!
I dunno if the extra money will add up to how long it takes me to get over it.
Probably not, but oh well, need money desperately, so do what I can.
I will still work with a cold, and just pass it on to my kids, who will probably pass it back to me, and me to them, and so on and so forth creating an eternity of colds for the 3 of us.
At least till august when I loose my job I suppose.
But why is it that I get such bad pains all over my body every single time I get a cold?!
I thought you weren't supposed to get body pain with colds, but I ALWAYS do! |
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[Apr. 15th, 2012|12:45 am] |
I just want everything to be good, and pure, and lovely all of the time.
A world full of flowers, rainbows, cookies, and kittens.
Why is that so much to ask? |
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| tumblr is all i do anymore, it's the best form of escapism, really. |
[Apr. 4th, 2012|11:23 pm] |
I really hope all the people who follow me with porn on their tumblr's don't expect me to follow them back, since I say right on my tumblr I don't follow things with porn on it.
I thought people only followed you because they want you to follow them, so it makes me think they probably didn't even read my disclamer, and just hit follow on anyone to try and get them to follow them back.
That's one thing that drives me crazy about tumblr!
Over half my very few followers are just spam followers, and then a bunch more are things I don't really like or dislike, but feel obligated to follow just because they follow me,(and don't have porn) but they obviously don't care for what I post, and don't post anything like I post on their blogs!
Especially the kfashion tumblr's are boring, and post WAY too much!
I like a lot of kfashion, but there are a few tumblr's in paticular that post the most boring pictures, and like 100 a day, and they all look so much alike!
I really prefer tumblr's that post a large variety of different things and don't stick to just one theme, it's more interesting that way.
Most the stuff I follow doesn't follow me back, but I honestly don't care if they do or not, I just like their pretty content, I'm not there to collect followers, even though it is nice to have them, it kind of makes me feel initmiated to be noticed too much. |
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| ANGRY RANT!! |
[Mar. 30th, 2012|05:22 pm] |
The more people obsess over being thin, the more I don't want to be thin!
It seriously pisses me off that people act like it's the only way to be loved, beautiful, and happy.
If that's all it took, than why are thin people still feeling unloved, ugly, and unhappy?!
Seriously people, it will not make anything in your life better to become a stick figure.
Don't force yourself to be something you're not. Accept who you are, and that's how you will become loved, beautiful, and happy!
I am not even talking about people who need to loose weight for their health, I am talking about people are like size 6-14, a normal healthy weight, but still can't accept it, and still push themselves, and force themselves to loose more and more till they waste away!
Apparently that is what this world wants of people, for them to waste away and become nothing!
Well, if that's how it is, I could easily take myself out of this world without having to dissappear bit by bit.
What are we even living for if all there is in this world is being thin?!
And most of all, it will not make you happy, it will not make your life better, only you can do that by changing your outlook on life, and accepting who you really are.
I know loads of super thin people who are still unhappy with themselves, and many of them still trying to get thinner till they become nothing.
It's stupid, and it's pointless, and it's dumb.
It makes me feel even more like being alive is totally worthless!!!
I don't care how much I hate myself, or how socially unacceptably "fat" I am, I am not going to be one of those people who try so hard to be thin that it's the only thing that matters!
I am still gonna think I'm fat and ugly, but I am not going push myself anymore, I've been there, done that, didn't become happy.
It's totally pointless, and the more perfectly beautiful and thin people I see trying to get thinner, and thinner, the more I don't want to be like them!
I just think, that if you want people to love you, truly love you, you wont need to worry about looks. I wouldn't want someone to love me if they only loved me because I was thin.
Because that is not love. Love is caring about someone, the good, and the bad.
I think there is so much going on the world, and it's all such terrible stuff, but people still care more about how much weight they can loose.
I think if all I had to live for was to become thin, than I couldn't live.
I am not a naturally super thin person like some people are, to be thin, I have to physically and mentally push myself to the point it hurts me both physically and mentally.
But I live in a world that treats you as if you have no value unless you are thin, and here I see everyone around me buying into that belief, and it hurts to see it.
I don't know what life if about, and I don't know how to cope with even the smallest of things, but I do know that giving love, and showing kindness, and caring for people is what makes the world a better place, not being fat free. |
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kanashimi2's journal