expendable crewman (kanashimi2) wrote,
expendable crewman

Feeling like the whole world is as done with me as I am.

Finally getting my ct scan tomorrow, was supposed to get a month ago but things keep happening to push it back.
I'm still having a lot of side effects from 2nd dose but I'm going to just get it over with because I can't take how sick I am anymore.
I don't think it will show anything but I can't move to the next step until I get this done.
idk if I even want to, I am so exhausted all the time. I don't even feel like a real person anymore. I can hardly stand to look at a screen even since I got the vax because my head and eyes hurt so much.
I just want everything to be over. I just want to feel good. I want to eat a lot of food and not get sick. I am literally wasting away here and it feels like nothing can be done about it.
I haven't weighed this much since I was 12 but I feel like after I get the ct scan and it shows nothing everyone will just go back to telling me I'm crazy again and not even bother trying to check for the million other things it could be that don't show up on the few tests they gave me.
But it's too much work for them, especially when I'm a charity patient.

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