expendable crewman (kanashimi2) wrote,
expendable crewman

I wish my life felt worth fighting for but it doesn't and it's not.
I'm not suicidal or anything just don't have any drive left in me to fight for myself and my doctor says there is nothing wrong with me that they can find and that doctors aren't good at finding rare stuff and can only try to treat symptoms but that I don't have anything dangerous so I don't have to worry about dying but I am not worried about dying I am worried about having to be so sick and get worse the rest of my life. Like how is it ok and not dangerous to live your life in bed and hardly able to move or eat?
Anyway I have changed my outlook for the most part from I want to die to I want get better but it doesn't look like either will ever be an option for me so I can't help but feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless.

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